Is Oscar Pistorius guilty?

It is a question that everyone seems to be asking. It doesn’t matter where I turn the story of Oscar Pistorius shooting Reeva Steenkamp is everywhere. Twitter, Facebook, the radio, newspaper headlines… the public has gone dilly with opinions on what happened.

I have been following the story to pass on info to a friend overseas. Following in much the same way a floating leaf follows the flow of river. You can’t help but get caught up in the story. Everywhere you turn is more info about what happened the night of February 14th.

If the state prosecution is to believed Oscar is a cold blooded murder. Oscar and his defence would like us to believe that it was just a horrible, tragic accident. Somewhere in there is the truth and I don’t envy the judge who ends up presiding over this case. The bail application hearing has been a deluge of information and forensics, the trial hasn’t even started yet.

With all of this playing out in the media I can’t help to think that despite the fact that Oscar is yet to stand trial, the media has judged him and found him guilty. There have been reports that seem to be incorrect, like the bloodied cricket bat, and selective interviewing of people to prove that Oscar has anger issues. Trial by public opinion and Oscar has been found guilty. I’ve watched as people change their minds back and forth as new evidence is presented during the bail application. Guilty, not guilty, guilty, not guilty, guilty… guilty. The overwhelming public sentiment seems to swing back to guilty more than not.

Why are we all so fascinated by this story? Are we really a society of drama-obsessed voyeurs?

The story with Oscar though has an added dimension. This story has rocked the very psyche of the nation and left everyone feeling betrayed because we trusted, celebrated, rejoiced. Oscar was our hero, the Blade-runner who made the world sit up and watch by having the sheer chutzpah to run against able bodied athletes in the Olympics. How could he betray us all by doing something so stupid, so base, so human? All of this coming at a time when everyone is so angry and worked up about gender based violence after the rape and murder of Anene Booysens.

I wish people on Twitter, Facebook, on the radio and the reporters writing the newspaper headlines would remember one thing about this horrible situation; Oscar Pistorius is innocent until such time as a court of law finds otherwise and none of us know all the facts, so we should refrain from tarring and feathering him as a murderer.


Bubbles, bubbles, BUBBLES!

One of my favourite things about the boys turning one and being able to play in the bath is BUBBLE BATHS!

I am an unashamed bubble bath addict and being able to share the joy with kids is without a doubt one of the best awesome moments in parenting.

Here is a little review of some of the different bubble baths I’ve tried.


The best and definite winner:

Pure Beginnings Fun Time Bubble Bath


What I love about pure beginnings is that it is 100% natural, not tested on animals, and it smells amazing. Something that is really important to me with two very busy boys in the bath is that it doesn’t leave the bath slippery and the boys can play without slipping and falling. Trying to keep the boys seated in the bath is a battle and I tell them to sit easily 20 times each at every bath. Then there is the added awesomeness that the bubbles don’t all disappear when you put soap in the water. These bubbles just last and last and last!

It is also organic and made in SA!

Since we bought this I haven’t used any other bubble bath and the other bottles are left half full.


Woolworths Bubble Trouble


The smell of this bubble bath takes me back to my childhood. The label says tropical but really it is the perfect mix of nostalgia; Chappies bubblegum and cocopine. I swear I could leave the bottle open just for the smell. It is a good bubble bath and makes lots of bubbles that last long enough for the boys to get pruney. This bubble bath cleans while they play so you don’t even need to soap them down they just get clean magically.


Elizabeth Anne’s Not A Baby Bubble Bath


I bought this because it is made especially for toddlers and I love Elizabeth Anne’s but it was disappointing. The granadilla scent was very sharp and the bubbles disappear quickly. You really have to use a lot of the product to get any sort of bubbling and then 2 minutes later the bubbles are gone.


Therific Kiddy-Calm

These bath salts are sold as foaming bath crystals and on the foaming front it creates hardly any bubbles, but (and this is a huge BUT) this is without a doubt one of my absolute favourite kiddy bath products ever. I use it every night! So although it strikes out on the bubble front it is definitely a 5 star product. Kiddy Calm has single-handedly helped my boys almost sleep through. While using Kiddy-Calm I noticed a huge improvement in the boys’ sleeping patterns. They went from waking 2-3 times a night each to each having slept through (not at the same time yet) and me having to go help a crying baby maybe once or twice a night. I feel like a new person. I thought it might be coincidence so i stopped using it for a couple nights and the difference was undeniable.

Also the apple scent is delicious! Kiddy-Calm comes in lots of different flavours and they make adult bath crystals too.

Wordless Wednesday – The boys’ birthday photoshoot

Remember that photoshoot that you all helped me win? Well here is  a couple highlights from the shoot.

Hope you enjoy!

Thank you Tanya for the amazing shoot. I couldn’t be more happy with these photos. If you ever need a family photographer, Tanya is the lady to call.

Government Hospitals suck

I can’t imagine a more traumatic way to give birth. This really highlights the fundamental flaws in the public healthcare system in South Africa. I wish this didn’t happen to a friend, or any woman in labour for that matter.

Right Down My Alley

Daily Prompt: Right to Health

by michelle w. on February 7, 2013

Is access to medical care something that governments should provide, or is it better left to the private sector? Are there drawbacks to your choice?

Warning: rant ahead

My short answer to this question is; yes it should be provided by Government and it is but unfortunately there are major drawbacks. As the penguin on Happy Feet would say, “let me tell something to you!”

Government Hospitals SUCK!

I’ll elaborate; true, Government Hospitals provide every, almost everything the private hospitals do for a fraction of the cost or for free. And that’s fantastic, in fact its imperative but instead of a monatary cost, there are other costs, costs to your human rights and costs to your dignity. There are many reasons why Government Hospitals have a lot of cleaning up to do. There’s a lack of resources, equipment and vital materials needed to run…

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We’re not so different… are we?

I don’t really write about the fact that we are a different family. Same-sex, lesbian, gay… whatever label you want to give us doesn’t really matter because at the end of the day we really are just another normal family. Ninety percent of the time I’m not even aware of the fact that we are “other” however since the boys have been born it has become more and more obvious.

A friend of ours, who is also a married lesbian with twin boys, made an observation: Having children outs you on a daily basis. You have no choice in who you want to share this information with anymore.

It doesn’t matter where you are or with whom you’re speaking, if they make an assumption about the kids “father” you have to correct them. Why you ask? Well there are a couple reasons:

Firstly I don’t want my boys to ever think that our family is less than or that the fact that they have two moms is something to be ashamed of. We have to be so careful of the unspoken signals that we send our boys in what we allow to be left unsaid or unacknowledged. This means that if the cashier at the local Spar asks about their father I have to correct them, the plumber who comes into our house will see our family photos on the walls, their school and teachers need to be coached on how to deal with sensitive issues like what to do on father’s day and bullying.

Secondly it is also important to normalise same-sex relationships in the greater community. I often say it is easy to hate what you don’t know, what is unfamiliar and what is removed from you. Homophobia is very difficult to maintain if you are in constant contact with a normal, well adjusted, happy same sex family especially when you get to know them. It is our job to make the future better for our kids by bearing the brunt of some of the social stigma associated with homosexuality so that by the time our kids are older they will be able to look back and laugh at how backwards society was. I think this might also be a bit of my idealism showing through because truly each one of us will agree that racism and sexism is wrong and very backward behaviour but unfortunately it is still rampant in our society even after liberation and all the various social reform movements. African Americans still live in largely segregated areas 60 years later, SA has racism and xenophobia bubbling dangerously close to the surface, and lesbians are still raped and murdered in townships across the country (continent even).

It means our sexuality is open to scrutiny and judgement by everyone. Doesn’t it seem silly that what we do in our bedroom is the business of anyone else? How would you feel if your proclivities were laid bare to the public? If you had to admit your perchant for kinky sex to the cashier at Spar, or your fertility issues to the plumber, or your love of sex toys with your kids’ teachers?

I have equal parts of me that are intensely private and outspoken activist. Some days I find it immensely exhausting being constantly vulnerable to people’s disapproving grimaces or discomfort at not knowing how to react.

We are also blessed to have a large and loving support system of family and friends who happily recognise and embrace us, our sons, our relationship and all that it entails. It is a blessing to have a safe place where we can just be without having to be on guard, without being rubbed raw by stigma.

So my question is… are we really so different? Is our family so different from yours?