Anniversary

Dear Wife and I celebrate the anniversary of the day we met this Friday. We actually don’t make a big deal of Valentines day and keep the festivities for our “meetaversary”. It is 5 years since we chatted each other up at a monthly grrls only party called Playground. The event no longer exists, but the spark that was kindled that night has become something very special.

You often read sappy romance stories of love at first sight. Well if I hadn’t experienced it, I would laugh it off myself. I knew DW was special from the moment we started talking and within 2 weeks I knew she was the one I wanted to spend my life with. We didn’t do the typical lesbian U-haul and move in on the second date thing. We dated for a couple of months and took things slowly. That said we haven’t been apart for longer than 3 days since the day we met.

This is our first meetaversary with our boys. We have organised to leave them at home with Angel Nanny and are going to go out for a meal together. A real, sit down, eat at the same time, have a conversation, drink a glass of wine, meal. I’m really looking forward to spending some quality time with DW. With twins it is easy for your relationship to be relegated to the back seat while you are caught up in the never ending whirlwind of baby stuff. Taking Mommy and Mama time is so important.

We’ve decided to go to one of our favourite restaurants which is close to the house. It is nothing fancy but the food is good and the service friendly. I’m wondering what special “something” I can do for DW considering how little time I have in the day. Ofcourse DW follows my blog so I can’t actually discuss any ideas here :p (sorry love).

Let the shopping begin! I am a way-before-the-time present buyer. I am already organising her birthday gift even though her birthday is in October. I love finding the perfect gift. Shopping at short notice is stressful and often unsatisfying. Wish me luck!

3 Month Update

I can’t believe the boys are 3 months old! They turned exactly 3 months on Valentine’s day.

I saw a lovely format for updates on Cam’s blog (http://www.angelsonmymind.blogspot.com) so I am going to steal it.

Age: 3 months / 13 weeks

Height/Weight: We went for a weigh for the first time since 9 weeks. Lion Cub 5.9kg and Monkey 4.8kg! They are getting so very big. And boy does that 1kg make a huge difference when you are carrying and rocking the boys.

Developmental notes: Lion Cub is so strong, he loves to stand and do his little hula dance as he finds his balance. Monkey is not as strong and still rather floppy. Both had their first sits in the Bumbo yesterday. Lion Cub loved it, Monkey less so. Both have found their hands and are constantly sucking and chewing on them, it is very cute to watch. With this new found control of their arms it has become almost impossible to keep them swaddled at night, soon we’ll be able to move out of swaddles altogether.

Eating: Lion Cub was an eating machine up until recently. He would finish anything you put in his mouth. Monkey is fussy. The planets and stars must align perfectly for him to eat. He fusses and pushes the bottle away and cries. It is quite exhausting.
In the last week Lion Cub has also been refusing the bottle at some feeds. With Monkey you can bribe him to drink with a bit of Telement colic drops or glycerine, but Lion Cub is stubborn stubborn stubborn! You can stand on your head and whistle Dixie for all the difference it would make. If he doesn’t want to drink, he won’t!
Breastfeeding is coming to a sorry end. Both boys only take the boob occasionally and I am expressing and giving bottle breastmilk more often than not. I miss breastfeeding. The two weeks that Angel Nanny was away really put the nails in the coffin for keeping the boys on the boob.

Sleep: the boys hardly sleep during the day. According to Sleep Sense our boys should be awake between 1 and 1.5 hours at a stretch. Ha! Sure! We are lucky if they sleep for 45min between feeds, and then seldom at the same time. At night they sleep relatively well. They go down at about 20:30 after their feed and bath at 19:00. They sleep until between 23:30 and 00:30 then one will wake and call us for their first night time bottle. Then they sleep until 03:30 to 04:30 when they get their next dream feed. They have recently started waking for the day at 06:00 even though we get to keep them asleep until 07:00. They niggle from about 05:00 onwards and on a bad night I can be going through to soothe a baby up to 8 times.

Favourite Things: I went for some retail therapy and bought a whole bunch of stuff to help us be hands free. We got a Kango pouch, two Bumbos and a Graco swinging chair. Monkey LOVES the swing. I call it the electric nanny because 2 minutes in it and he is asleep. I can see us using it a lot in the months to come.
The boys favourite thing has to be their stuffed teddy Tigger. He sits next to the changing station and gets smiles and chats from both boys.

Dislikes: Post partum depression! It sucks. I hate feeling so moody and tearful. I haven’t been coping since Angel Nanny went AWOL and things are just coming to a head now. I could dedicate an entire post to PND. I have upped my dose of happy pills and am hoping that it helps. Otherwise I am going to find a psychologist and maybe get a script for something stronger from my GP.

Their accomplishments: No more 3 hour long crying fits for Monkey. Yup, ding dong the colic’s gone. Happy days! Lion Cub can lift his head when lying on his tummy and holds his head up when sitting in the Bumbo.

Our accomplishments: well the boys are still alive and I haven’t run away. It has been a particularly trying time for us as a family as Dear Wife has massive work stress and I have been in a dark place too. Hopefully things get a bit better soon.

Looking forward to: Dropping a night feed. Getting a night nurse for an evening soon. The boys learning to sit.

Mommy musings: in case no-one has told you, the early months with babies is crap! It is really hard with very little reward. SA maternity leave is ridiculous, you spend the hardest part at home with your babies and just as they become interactive and fun you have to go back to work. Thankfully I am lucky enough to have 6 months maternity leave.
I also still haven’t joined SAMBA the SA Multiple Births Association. I keep meaning to but time just runs away with me. I was speaking to a lady who says it is very worthwhile. Maybe I’ll do it today.

When the crying gets too much

With twins there is, obviously, two of everything. Two times the nappies, two time the bottles, two bodies to bath, two times the smiles and giggles, and two times the crying.

The hardest part of having Angel Nanny MIA has been the lack of a second pair of arms when the boys decide to melt down simultaneously. Which boys do you pick up and console? As you calm one the other has worked himself into a frenzy. You put the calm baby down to pick the hysterical one up but the calm baby starts crying and you haven’t even started to calm the second child down. It becomes a juggling act worthy of Cirque Du Soleil. Pick up, rock, pat, put down, pick up, rock, pat, put down, use knee to rock crib while holding other baby, bump, pick up, rock, pat, put down. Faster and faster while getting you nowhere because both babies and eventually you are in tears.

The advice you are given is to put your baby, or babies in this case, down in a safe place and the walk away while taking a couple deep breaths and collect yourself.

All very well in theory, but that still doesn’t stop the crying.

Eventually you find yourself rocking a bit too vigorously or patting a little too hard and suddenly you get a fright and realise you have to calm down.

Somehow the babies get calmed and finally go to sleep. Mom is left feeling a bit shell shocked. Then tomorrow it starts again (if you are lucky otherwise in 3 – 4 hours) and you know everyday is a game of Russian Roulette. One day you have perfect smiling, laughing angels and the next day you have horrible little monsters.

I wish there were more smiles, more laughter but that will come.

Anyone have any tips on dealing with crying babies?

The mysterious case of the dissappearing nanny

Oh no, more nanny troubles!

Originally we hired a lady to help with the housework and look after me when the boys were born. Things didn’t work out as she had to make an emergency trip back home and couldn’t get back in time.

So we found someone else a week before the boys were born. We found Angel Nanny. She is a perfect fit for us. I trust her with the boys, she is very similar in personality to me so we are on very friendly terms and chat all day long, she is competent and trustworthy, and now… she is missing.

She warned us that she had a memorial service to go to in January when she first came to work for us. So fast forward to two weeks ago, off she went back to Zimbabwe. We were expecting her back last Thursday. Thursday came, Thursday went, by Friday I was totally cheesed off at being left in the lurch. By Sunday I was worried. I can’t help but think that something must have happened to her that is preventing her from contacting us. We only have her SA phone numbers. Due to a mix up with bus times she left in a tizzy and forgot to leave her sister’s phone number in Zimbabwe.

I am in a difficult position as I now need to phone the agency and interview a replacement but all I want is my Angel Nanny back. I don’t want to replace her! I don’t want to have to train someone else. I don’t want to sit through interviewing ladies all the while comparing them to Angel Nanny.

In 3 short months she has become part of our family and I am so concerned that something horrible has happened to her.

Dear Wife is driving to Johannesburg today to where her boyfriend lives to find out if he has heard from her and if she is okay.

I phoned the bus company to find out if there were any delays at the border or problems with buses, and there weren’t.

What more can we do? I am so worried for her.