Falling off the wagon

So I dropped the ball with #projectpoetry. Why? Well I think the combination of a very stressful month, too many things to do, and an ongoing struggle with depression worked together and force me to shut down non-essential services. You know Eskom has been load shedding, the Post Office┬áis on strike and I was out of action for a bit too. It happens. What I’ve learnt about myself over the last year is that when I get to this point a little time out is the only thing that helps me from slipping into a more permanent version of the doldrums that I’ve been in. My mental health is a precarious balancing act and sometimes I get the balance wrong. So after a week and a bit of serious self care, I’m back and feeling pretty good. Yay!

What does self care entail for me?

Getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night

Spending much less time being social

Spending less time on social media or in any other emotionally charged environment

Doing low energy expending, nurturing activities like making pickles. (Yes pickle making is self care, I can do something that has a tangible result, is mildly creative, it an act of love and service for my family and doesn’t require too much effort beyond the repetitive chopping of veggies.)

I may just coin my own term for self care: conserve and preserve.

So I’m back, and coming up will be the recipes for sweet and sour pickled peppers, and bread and butter pickles. Also something to look out for, a review on the single most mindblowingly excellent queer poetry anthology I have ever read… #PoemsForTheQueerRevolution.

One of those weeks

This post is late…I started typing it and saved it to drafts and just didn’t have time to finish it.

So sorry for being quiet over the last week. It was one of THOSE weeks. Angel Nanny had to take leave on Monday because her sister-in-law passed away. Tuesday was spent tying up a few last lose ends for my research proposal. Wednesday I had to do some grocery shopping. Thursday was a public holiday, Dear Wife and I had a wonderful day together. Friday Angel Nanny took a leave day (which she had organised with us ages ago). So two days of being home alone with the boys meant that very little else got done.

Weekends tend to be rather busy. This weekend we went to celebrate my granny’s birthday. She is 81! My goodness time has flown. I spent a large part of my childhood living with my grandparents. It is really hard to watch them grow old and frail. I know my time left with them is limited and running out quickly, it leaves me feeling sick to my stomach. I can’t imagine a world without them in it.

My sister book a photoshoot with the awesome Tanya for my Granny’s birthday. We all got together for family photos. Four generations together. The process of posed photos with the boys was exhausting, but since Granny has to be hooked up to an oxygen machine permanently there wasn’t a chance for the usual spontaneous photography that Tanya usually does.

For some reason my mood has been in steady decline over the last few weeks. At first I thought it was just PMS, but that wasn’t it and I’m getting to the point of wondering if my antideps have stopped working. Is that possible?

I have so many blog post that I want to type and am really struggling to find the time and energy.

You can look forward too:
A great recipe for baby macaroni cheese with tomato sauce,
The boys 9 month update,
Another instalment of Operation Makeover, and
Party plans for the boys’ first birthday.