Falling off the wagon

So I dropped the ball with #projectpoetry. Why? Well I think the combination of a very stressful month, too many things to do, and an ongoing struggle with depression worked together and force me to shut down non-essential services. You know Eskom has been load shedding, the Post Office is on strike and I was out of action for a bit too. It happens. What I’ve learnt about myself over the last year is that when I get to this point a little time out is the only thing that helps me from slipping into a more permanent version of the doldrums that I’ve been in. My mental health is a precarious balancing act and sometimes I get the balance wrong. So after a week and a bit of serious self care, I’m back and feeling pretty good. Yay!

What does self care entail for me?

Getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night

Spending much less time being social

Spending less time on social media or in any other emotionally charged environment

Doing low energy expending, nurturing activities like making pickles. (Yes pickle making is self care, I can do something that has a tangible result, is mildly creative, it an act of love and service for my family and doesn’t require too much effort beyond the repetitive chopping of veggies.)

I may just coin my own term for self care: conserve and preserve.

So I’m back, and coming up will be the recipes for sweet and sour pickled peppers, and bread and butter pickles. Also something to look out for, a review on the single most mindblowingly excellent queer poetry anthology I have ever read… #PoemsForTheQueerRevolution.

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#ProjectPoetry 3

So, yeah if you’re new to the #ProjectPoetry posts, here’s the skinny.

#ProjectPoetry is a creative writing project written in collaboration by 4 bloggers, a poem a week, 4 weeks.

Each poem starts with a line from the previous poets poem.

My iPad is an asshole and refuses to let me paste hyperlinks to my blog posts so please check the end of this post for a links to the previous poems.

image

Smile…

Smile like it’s alright
Hold perfect poise
Don’t let the mask slide

Smile
to ease other’s concern
Nothing to see here
Nothing to learn

Learn how to carry it
Curled up
by your eyes
Smile lines can hold a perfect disguise

Though when the mask slips
And the cracks begin showing
You can not be angry at them for
not
knowing

A smile as a mask
A smile as defenses
A smile to hide darkness
A smile
that
eventually
….
….
falters

Cupcake Mummy – http://cupcakemummy.wordpress.com/2014/10/04/projectpoetry-round-3/

Flat White Concepts – http://theflatwhiteblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/projectpoetry-3/

GreenLydia – http://greenlydia.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/project-poetry-week-3/

Antidepressants and vitamins

I recently wrote about how I was feeling off even though I am taking antidepressants. Well here is a little update. I’m feeling much better. The solution was simple enough…remember to take my vitamins.

I am in the alternative and complementary healthcare field and I should know better. For goodness sake how many time have I recommended that people take supplements when stressed and suffering from low mood. The effect of Omega 3 and B vitamins is known to help with stress.

I was in a vicious circle. I was tired because I got to bed too late. Because I was late to bed I was too tired to count out all Dear Wife’s and my pills. Because I wasn’t taking my usual vitamin supplements I was tired. And so on.

I have often wondered if vitamins really make any difference at all. There is such a huge discrepancy between the quality of various products on the market. Some work much better than others, or so the marketing says.

Well I can definitely say that taking a multi-vitamin really has made a difference for me. I no longer feel flat and tired. My memory is improving and my overall mood has definitely evened out. I’m am feeling more normal.

I’m so glad the fix for my problem was a minor adjustment.

If I notice my mood deteriorate again I will definitely go see a psychiatrist.