Dear Wife and I have spoken about having another child. It was always our plan to try for another baby in a year or two. Some days I think I can’t wait to start trying. Other days I feel like our boys are enough and I don’t really want to go through it again. Then sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to adopt.
In my heart of hearts, I wonder what it would be like to be a mommy to a girl. I find myself staring over at the little dresses and girly clothing in the store and feeling a longing to buy it for my little girl. Dear Wife and I have already named her.
So all this leads up to my dream last night.
I dreamed I was pregnant. We decided to keep the sex a surprise and wait for the birth. The big day arrive and out pops a lovely…little boy. I’m disappointed but he is my baby and I will love him to the moon and back. Then the dream becomes a nightmare(ish) because out comes another baby, it is twins again. The second baby is also a boy. 4 boys!
The idea of having twins again scares me. I don’t know what I would do if it happened again. I suppose I’d cope but the idea leaves me cold.
Having another baby is really such a hugely emotional decision for me. More and more often I find myself feeling like our boys…are enough.