I had a dream last night

Dear Wife and I have spoken about having another child. It was always our plan to try for another baby in a year or two. Some days I think I can’t wait to start trying. Other days I feel like our boys are enough and I don’t really want to go through it again. Then sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to adopt.

In my heart of hearts, I wonder what it would be like to be a mommy to a girl. I find myself staring over at the little dresses and girly clothing in the store and feeling a longing to buy it for my little girl. Dear Wife and I have already named her.

So all this leads up to my dream last night.

I dreamed I was pregnant. We decided to keep the sex a surprise and wait for the birth. The big day arrive and out pops a lovely…little boy. I’m disappointed but he is my baby and I will love him to the moon and back. Then the dream becomes a nightmare(ish) because out comes another baby, it is twins again. The second baby is also a boy. 4 boys!

The idea of having twins again scares me. I don’t know what I would do if it happened again. I suppose I’d cope but the idea leaves me cold.

Having another baby is really such a hugely emotional decision for me. More and more often I find myself feeling like our boys…are enough.

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8 thoughts on “I had a dream last night

  1. How I share your thoughts… My friend announced her pregnancy and I was devastated. I just can’t shake this flippen infertility label. Its all uncertainty. Hubby is definately done. 4 is a good number for him. But my boys are growing up so fast. And then I realise I am really really busy why add to the chaos. Good luck

  2. Gosh I already feel 1 is enough. I can just imagine how you feel. Alas I too sometimes long for another child. Its conflicting because even when my mind is made up that I will definitely try for another SOON, inside Im shouting “noooooo!”

  3. I hear you. We are always thinking #2 even though the first is not even here. I am trying to allow myself the leeway to have the first and see how it goes before just jumping in. It goes to show how far you’ve come with your boys that you are even considering a next baby already!! My gf said the thought absolutely terrified her until her twins were 1.5…..at which point they miraculously got pregnant with #3 there first time without protection! (First set were ivf!). So the fact that you are already considering it screams that you will be having more in my mind :).

    • It was always our plan to have another baby whether we had twins or not. The biggest problem is that I know how hard it can be to fall pregnant and I am worried that the ages gap between the boys and their sibling might be too big if wait too long and then struggle to fall pregnant. You can’t take your fertility for granted.

  4. I love your blog Fabulous Mommy.

    Today has been a dark day and seeing the happiness and love you have in your life has lifted my spirits immensely. You do the word ‘mommy’ proud.

    When I met DH I told him I wanted 10 kids – still trying to have #1, but 10 still sounds like a good number to me. (Irish & Catholic remember). At this point we might need adoption to make up the numbers. DH and I had a horrid experience of meeting three baby girls (literally babies) a few months ago who had been abandoned on the streets. DH cried more than I did, and we could honestly have picked those three little girls up, taken them home and made them ours.

    Good luck with your decision – you are both natural mommies and are surely raising a wonderful new generation for us all to be proud of.

    Much love, Angela

    • Thanks so much for stopping by my blog.

      I’m sorry you were having a miserable day, so glad my blog could lift your spirits.

      I’m sure your family of 10 kids will find a way to slip out of your dreams and into your home. I know the appeal of a big family, we were 4 kids. I suppose there is still time to decide, but the decision to have more kids or not is weighing on me.

      Hope you are doing well.

      XX

  5. ain’t nothing wrong with that. you are doing more than most. and i smile very wide when i think about you and dear wife putting two awesome young men into society… a very cool thing. and GREAT family picture. xoxo, sm

    • Thanks! I still get a shock some days when I realise that I’m really someones mom. I hope that we do a good job of raising them.

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